Book Review: My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell

Book: 31/100

Rating: 4/5

Summary: 2000. Bright, ambitious, and yearning for adulthood, fifteen-year-old Vanessa Wye becomes entangled in an affair with Jacob Strane, her magnetic and guileful forty-two-year-old English teacher. 2017. Amid the rising wave of allegations against powerful men, a reckoning is coming due. Strane has been accused of sexual abuse by a former student, who reaches out to Vanessa, and now Vanessa suddenly finds herself facing an impossible choice: remain silent, firm in the belief that her teenage self willingly engaged in this relationship, or redefine herself and the events of her past. But how can Vanessa reject her first love, the man who fundamentally transformed her and has been a persistent presence in her life? Is it possible that the man she loved as a teenager—and who professed to worship only her—may be far different from what she has always believed? Alternating between Vanessa’s present and her past, My Dark Vanessa juxtaposes memory and trauma with the breathless excitement of a teenage girl discovering the power her own body can wield. Thought-provoking and impossible to put down, this is a masterful portrayal of troubled adolescence and its repercussions that raises vital questions about agency, consent, complicity, and victimhood.

Thoughts: Whew. This was a tough one to read. But what an incredible debut!

As I was reading the book, I was questioning if I was actually liking this book; the subject matter is disturbing, I didn't love any of the characters, and it didn't seem like there was a break in sight (it didn't help that Vanessa wasn't particularly close with her parents and didn't have any friends. There wasn't even a redeeming best friend role!).

But, to me, books are meant to transport you to another world, put yourself in someone else's shoes, and inspire empathy among readers. I've never been in Vanessa's position, but Russell sure makes it feel like you are.

I also initially struggled with the ending; it felt incomplete, But for Vanessa, there isn't an end. She will always be haunted by a system that failed her, adults that didn't show up with her, and a predator who got away with abusing who knows how many girls in his position of power.